Very few things compare to the first time a demon manifests itself to the practitioner. It is absolutely a treat however, it is a terror as well. For me, it was a mix of emotions. I had practiced the Satanic arts for a few years; I don’t really remember how many years now, but I know I had been a steady practitioner for some time. I was not expecting the manifestation to take place at all so I was caught off guard as the room filled with an unsettled feeling of cold. It was almost like something out of a science fiction movie and I found myself actually quite scared. It felt like jumping into a deep swimming pool the first time as a small child. Once you leave the safety and security of the poolside, there is no going back.
I felt that after all the time invested and all the knowledge I had tried so desperately to attain, everything came together in one brief moment. I guess there are two questions to be answered for the practitioner; “When will I experience the thing that others tell me about?” and the second question is “How do I turn it off when it finally happens?”……. It was a very similar experience.
There is no safety rope, tether to sanity or division between reality and fantasy at the appointed time. Those things are over, for the new practitioner has left the comfort of the ‘known’; the safety of the poolside and you’re now committed with no turning back. Quite honestly, I do not remember the first few moments because it was almost like time stood still. There was no one around me; I was performing a ritual alone. There was no movement, no place for my beliefs and no need for my opinion. It had been so easy to lightly dismiss the vain babbling of those who claimed to have seen Satan and demons. I had laughed at them so many times while diligently searching, practicing and learning; like a virgin, I was ready…….I wanted it so badly!!
It was finally happening and I was terrified by what I felt. Imagine being outside a fenced yard with a large Rottweiler dog inside. As long as you are outside the fence, you may feel brave…….even feel boastful. You may even tease the mad killer but when the fence ceases to exist and you are facing that animal alone with no defense, it is a totally different story. I was frozen with fear and the funny part is, it was only an occultation; I was only seeing the glow of the demon becoming aligned for Syzygy¹. Moments later, He actually manifested as a being………….it still gives me shivers and as I write this, I actually have goosebumps. It is something so difficult to communicate with words! It is a feeling like someone has walked across your grave. That ominous chill goes up the spine, every hair stands up and you feel so alive; like you have never felt before. My ex-lover Heroin had never compared to the ecstasy I experienced that night!
I was frozen….virtually petrified with fear. When the glow finally faded and He became true to form, I was speechless. I had brought forth a demon and I had no fvcking idea what to say or do! I neither communicated with the demon that night nor did the demon communicate with me. I stood staring at this being from the other side of the Parallax Dimension veil. The encounter lasted, at most, 10 minutes; I don’t really know….I had lost all concept of time. It seemed an eternity as the demon faded into a vapor and slowly disappeared. I stood where the light had shown so brightly, quickly became dim and then……..black; my altar candles extinguished as the demon departed.
The room was solid black as I stumbled around, found my lighter and lit the candles. I could do nothing but sit and stare blankly into the upper corner of the room while my mind raced. I had no explanation; my only thought was “I can’t tell anyone; what would I say; how am I ever going to explain this to anyone? They will think I am a fool and a liar!!!!”
Days went by before I mustered the courage to mention the encounter. The first person was my very dear friend who had taught me the secrets of Hoodoo. She was African-American, in her late sixties at the time and I loved this woman with every ounce of my existence. She had shown me a world of sobriety, had never called me ‘worthless trash’ (as the woman from whose crotch I was ripped two decades before had called me so many times), forced me to respect myself and others while opening the doorway; introducing me to the ways of magic. As we sipped coffee at Café Du Monde near the French Quarter in New Orleans, I told her my story. I labored with every word; it felt like the eyes of the world were upon me. Those words sounded so foreign and I braced for her reaction.
She smiled as a gentle expression came over her face. When I had finished telling her about my encounter, she chuckled and said “Now you know what I been tellin’ you so long. There is more on the other side; now you have seen it and you have had a visitor from there! Honey, everything is open wide just like your first encounter with a girl. Baby, you never gonna forget it!!” I smiled and said “You’re absolutely right. I will never forget it!”
That was over 20 years ago and I vividly remember that first time I had a visitor from the ‘other side’. Now, it has become second nature, but the excitement is almost the same when Satan or a demon comes ripping into our dimension. It is a joyous time of excitement that is absolutely mind boggling……….even today!
So for those who doubt and perhaps dismiss my words, for you I simply say “Wait your turn. When it happens to you, we shall be able to communicate on the same cognitive level of understanding. Until then, happy hunting!!!”
Until next time, I wish you Satanic Blessings and the best of luck in pursuit of your ‘first encounter’!!
¹A visual refraction / reflection event common during Samhain; Occultation alignment while nearing an abnormally thin Parallax veil.