Pain of the Pawn
Finally……….the cold vacant stares and brabbling have ended. This morning, the members of my ‘team’ sat quietly around a long mahogany table as I signed the papers that will allow me to aggravate the shit out of the world for another five years. Instead of champagne, I had a Diet Pepsi and a veggie wrap. I am certainly happy the uncertainty is over and life can return to what I consider “normal”. With the trip to Germany and this contract renewal thing, it has certainly been a busy and stressful month. As I sit here writing and occasionally glancing at the Gulf of Mexico, I look forward to the future with great anticipation. Sometimes the ‘tug of war’ leaves me empty and exhausted; mentally and physically. Yes, I am human; though I serve He who is not.
I immensely enjoy being a writer and believe it was my Kismet. From ideas that wake me up at 3:00 in the morning, to the very mechanical process as Scriber, it is the thing I enjoy. I guess that is why this has been such an emotional roller coaster for me. While I do love writing itself, I do not like the business side of writing. For those of you who are thinking “I just wish he would shut-the-fuck-up and write something about Satan……”, I will however, there are those people reading this right now who feel the same way I feel and I am sending them a short note at this very minute. There will always be a crevasse separating people with creative impulses and those driven by one motivation. As the iconoclast Gordon Gekko said on the silver screen in 1987; “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good”. I agree with that however, most artists and writers share a common aesthetic; most view their creations as children rather than “products”.
Ok, so I will continue to write, agitate the establishment, give the xtians something to rant about and sow the seeds of Satanism for those who want to come along for the journey.
“The devil’s voice is sweet to hear.” Stephen King
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